the lost

Somehow, the lost of my mum had not get over with me yet. She past a way suddenly more than three years ago. Ever since she past away, I know one of the way that I can comprehend this lost, is start to write something about her. Till now, i don't have the courage yet.

The lost make me felt like I am a lost child, I had lost a place to be pampered. And all this long, this pampered relation is a very prominent features in our relationship, and now this very same pampered also giving me the hell feeling too.
I feel like I am no longer a child anymore, and I grieving over and over again for this dying child.

The pains are sharp and it's hurting whenever I feel lost in my life. When I am in that situation, I will call out for her silently. Just to draw a little comfort to hear that word "mum" being uttered. I miss u dearly mum!

talking about expectation

what is expectation? expectation is putting OUR hope on ourself and others. we HOPE because we know that we would be able to achieve , and that very same HOPE we put in others. Is that fair? To us is fair because we can, but not to others. On a second thought, is arrogant that is down deep in us. Because we can, why not others? let us learn that people may not able to achieve OUR EXPECTATION, just simply they are not us. We are just vary in journey of life.

a writer's dream

being a writer is always my dream since I am at the secondary. The dream fate along the way as I enter the busy life as adult. This dream still playing very much in my mind but I just say no to it.
Now, I think is the time that I should recollect this dream and put it into life again.
So, I name this journey, a journey that I may look at the foot prints and reflects how it has be part of me.